The Beginning

Dear Emmersyn,
         I told myself I would start from the beginning. Back to the discussions between your father and I as we tried to decide if we wanted to add to our family. Back to the many happy, naive, and oblivious moments when your brothers were little.
       We married young. We had your brothers young. We worried about feeding them a balanced diet, and putting them to bed at a proper time. We stressed about vaccination schedules, teething, sniffles, and tummy bugs. As they grew, we worried about choosing the right schools, making the right friends, and keeping them active. We ultimately decided to expand our family. It was not an easy decision. We wanted a little girl, but we already had two amazing healthy boys, and it seemed like we were tempting fate to try again. Your brothers were 8 and 6 when we welcomed you enthusiastically into our family. As some would say, we rolled the dice to get a girl and won.
       My pregnancy was textbook. You entered this world at 5:27pm on May 16th 2012 which also happened to be you due date. You were a beautiful healthy 8lb 4.5oz baby girl. You were happy from the beginning. A great sleeper, a great eater, and a great pooper. Lets face it, that's about all newborns do for awhile. As you grew, we noticed you were hitting some of your milestones later than your brothers did, but still within expected time frames. You smiled, rolled over, sat alone, crawled. We spent your first birthday at the baseball fields watching your brothers play.
       Shortly after your 1st birthday, we noticed a small lump on your spine. In hindsight, I had noticed this since you were only a few weeks old, but I never thought it was abnormal. You started developing darker pigmented spots, and small lumps under you skin. You underwent an ultrasound, an MRI, and surgery to determine the cause of the lump. On January 13th 2014, you were officially diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis type I. Neurofibromatosis type I is a genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow along nerves. Our worries quickly changed. We were thrown into the world of MRIs, multiple specialists, physical therapy, and uncertain futures. We researched alternative medicines, anti-inflammatory diets, and anything else we could think of to help ensure your health and ease our minds. This journey has been difficult thus far, and this past 10 months have been more stressful than anything I have every endured.
       You have changed our lives in many ways. You have shown us true strength and resilience. You have taught us what is really important. We used to stress over work, but now we are happy to be able to work and provide for our family. We used to worry about sniffles and tummy bugs, but now we are thankful for stable MRIs and pain free days. We used to worry about the future, and now we are able to find the beauty and peace in the moment. We love you and every imperfection you have or may develop. Our family was never complete without you. You have taught us how to slow down and enjoy each other's presence. You are truly a gift from God, for which I thank him every day. I have started this blog to help me stay focused in times of doubt, worry, and stress. Ultimately, its about you and your journey with NF.

Love You Always

Mommy